Falling deep

I have this damn bad habit of liking people that i know i shouldn't gah.

Too close alr, too close.

It's damn torturing lah wtf!!! 

It's like seeing your favourite xiaolongbao going at 50c per piece when you're having 6 ulcers sia nabeh.

I rly think it's the after effect of tcyx y'know. Ok not like i didn't like anybody before him but.... 

He introduced this damn feeling to me- 想当年 if he didn't ask me and i didn't accept, i wouldn't have known what it feels like- The feeling of having one person to rely on without boundaries.

I know this took along while and this is D E F I N I T E L Y not the time.. But i think i'm ready.

I'm

I'm ready to love again.

Lol k strike that i think i was ready a long time ago.

But i rly cannot afford to lose them, i rly rly cannot.

Lol yes them wtf i'm fickle hearted like that.

Plus

They are sold. They are wanted.

我不能夺走别人的东西。

They are not meant to be mine.

If advancing means hurting people in more ways than one,

I'd rather things just stay status quo.

So.

BLOODY FREAK LAH THIS IS SOME DEEP SHIT YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO TANJIEHUI!!!

GRR

KEEP CALM AND PLAY YOUR BILLARD BALLS LAH

Sad day

To gab:

Are you sure you wna let go?

---

Today was a really bad day, bad as in not the 'everything gone wrong' that kind of bad, but the 'bloody shit, i didn't realize" that kind of bad.

Today, i really learnt, alot of things.

I learnt the cruelty of power, competition, and the fight for recognition.

I learnt the fragility of trust, bonds, and the struggle to stay strong.

I'm hurting. It's not happening to me but i am hurting.

It hurts me to see us separated that way; The bonds that had once seemed so strong are actually crumbling.

I wna find somebody to blame for this mess, and get him/her to settle this problem.

But i can't.

Because there is just no one i can blame.

I wna help them, do something about it.

But i can't.

Because i'm in no position to do so.

 I want to talk to somebody, but i don't wna add on to their problems

 They already have enough of their own.

But what i know is, we can't stay like this. Everyone is hurting,

I want to help. Please enlighten me.