Suddenly, i feel that things are not always as bad as it seems to be.
Maybe we should stop forming impressions out of misunderstandings. Because perhaps, just perhaps, we have been wrong-- The perspective at which we view things might be biased because we might have been looking through tinted lenses all the time.
This one person, that we had believed to be a cow of all edges........He don't seem to be that bad after all. Initially, all of us thought that he was someone who is damn self-centered, and only cared about himself and his personal achievements. However, today, he changed my opinion. Even though he left, he still do turn look back. He still do want the pull despite the fact that our cca caused him to feel like crap. Technically speaking, you wun want to have anything related to something that caused you nothing but sadness right. He could have just taken it as if that he had left the cca so he isn't obliged to pay for the pull anymore. But he bought, and even asked me to remind him to pay up. He seems to cling on, can see that he still cherishes us. Maybe, he misses us too? His actions, really changed my opinion about him instantly- that he might not be what he seemed to be. He still do care. He is not as nonchalant and self-centered as he was portrayed to be.
And so this made me reflect.
I might not be what i thought of myself to be either. I might not be an introvert, my sec 3 days proved it alright. I do have the confidence. I had alot more confidence when i was young too! It's possible for me to shine.
It is definitely possible.
I just got to believe it.
And make it happen.
I can do this.
YES I CAN.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
It's time
Today, is a day of sorrow.
It's a day when everybody is allowed to release themselves.
Of the suspense, of the groans and of the tears.
Heart-breaking. Receiving back the results was heart-breaking.
My results were okay. Actually that's not the main point, i don't really give a fuck.
But seeing them laugh as if they have accepted it, they have expected it, hurts.
The fact that they are going to retain.
All of them worked so damn hard. I don't even know if i can compare with them. I slacked with them, i slept the hours away with them, i lepaked with them.. When they are studying i was most probably still sleeping.....
Then why is it that i'm the only damned one that have a chance of promoting.
Before going off for pw, had a talk with mpah. And she was the first person i broke down to. 丢脸。
She told me that their chances of promoting are really really bleak. I couldn't take it. I couldn't uds.
After pw, had to help sof with her pw along with gab. Sof can't make it too, fel oli dangerous. Heart pain.
Then had a h2h talk with gab, telling him to stay.
"But you will promote"
"We'll still be in the same cca"
"But you will promote"
"We'll still be in the cca"
He broke. I pretended not to see his tears, but failed and broke anyway.
For a moment we just stared into each other's eyes. That moment was rly special.
So special that i'm afraid it'll be extinct.
And sy that asshole. She destroyed all my hopes even before i can give her some of mine. She's just so nonchalant that i rly feel like slapping her for her to let all her feelings out. I know she must be devastated inside, i don't want her to bottle everything up. I want to share her pain too, not only her joys. I can't bear to lose her. Not at all. Seeing her like that is damn hell worrying me. I.... I don't want her to cry alone.
When mchua came over and talk to the three of them, i couldn't help it. I excused myself and went off weeping in the toilet cubicle.
Today's pickup was horrible too. I couldn't see shit, cause it was too dark. But that is definitely not the main cause of my own inability to catch the discs. Harriet did damn well as compared to me, even though both of us are first-timers. I rly lack confidence. Just where. Where had my confidence gone to?
On the way home, i reflected on myself. And realised, painfully, how netball was directly related to my personality. I'm an introvert, no question about it. I don't open up easily, and have an inertia level of infinity when it comes to dealing with change. I hate it when things are not in my control.
Which is the reason i was a keeper. I keep stuffs, i don't attack, i don't venture. Only when there was invasion in my territory will i then act accordingly to deal with it. I am not outspoken. In fact, i'm afraid, i'm terribly afraid of being judged. Hence in order not to get hurt, i'll always stand within my one-third of the court, where it is safe. And this is worrying. This is the reason why i cannot improve, and always stay where i am. Yes eugene, i did learn something. Something extremely valuable.
I have to change. I NEED TO.
CHANGE
It's a day when everybody is allowed to release themselves.
Of the suspense, of the groans and of the tears.
Heart-breaking. Receiving back the results was heart-breaking.
My results were okay. Actually that's not the main point, i don't really give a fuck.
But seeing them laugh as if they have accepted it, they have expected it, hurts.
The fact that they are going to retain.
All of them worked so damn hard. I don't even know if i can compare with them. I slacked with them, i slept the hours away with them, i lepaked with them.. When they are studying i was most probably still sleeping.....
Then why is it that i'm the only damned one that have a chance of promoting.
Before going off for pw, had a talk with mpah. And she was the first person i broke down to. 丢脸。
She told me that their chances of promoting are really really bleak. I couldn't take it. I couldn't uds.
After pw, had to help sof with her pw along with gab. Sof can't make it too, fel oli dangerous. Heart pain.
Then had a h2h talk with gab, telling him to stay.
"But you will promote"
"We'll still be in the same cca"
"But you will promote"
"We'll still be in the cca"
He broke. I pretended not to see his tears, but failed and broke anyway.
For a moment we just stared into each other's eyes. That moment was rly special.
So special that i'm afraid it'll be extinct.
And sy that asshole. She destroyed all my hopes even before i can give her some of mine. She's just so nonchalant that i rly feel like slapping her for her to let all her feelings out. I know she must be devastated inside, i don't want her to bottle everything up. I want to share her pain too, not only her joys. I can't bear to lose her. Not at all. Seeing her like that is damn hell worrying me. I.... I don't want her to cry alone.
When mchua came over and talk to the three of them, i couldn't help it. I excused myself and went off weeping in the toilet cubicle.
Today's pickup was horrible too. I couldn't see shit, cause it was too dark. But that is definitely not the main cause of my own inability to catch the discs. Harriet did damn well as compared to me, even though both of us are first-timers. I rly lack confidence. Just where. Where had my confidence gone to?
On the way home, i reflected on myself. And realised, painfully, how netball was directly related to my personality. I'm an introvert, no question about it. I don't open up easily, and have an inertia level of infinity when it comes to dealing with change. I hate it when things are not in my control.
Which is the reason i was a keeper. I keep stuffs, i don't attack, i don't venture. Only when there was invasion in my territory will i then act accordingly to deal with it. I am not outspoken. In fact, i'm afraid, i'm terribly afraid of being judged. Hence in order not to get hurt, i'll always stand within my one-third of the court, where it is safe. And this is worrying. This is the reason why i cannot improve, and always stay where i am. Yes eugene, i did learn something. Something extremely valuable.
I have to change. I NEED TO.
CHANGE
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
Blurry
Cried on the bus today. It came in waves.
I can't bear with it any longer. I rly don't know how long more i can last.
The thought of us separating at the end of the year is killling me.
Today all three of us were at the same bus stop, and all three of us were taking different buses.
All, to different destinations.
It's so fucking painful. So damn painful.
My heart is in pieces.
Why. Why the fuck the school has to retain so many people.
They are improving, they are freaking improving.
SO TELL ME WHY THE FUCK MUST YOU GUN THEM DOWN WHEN THEY FINALLY SAW SOME LIGHT.
I don't understand. Academic results can't show anything.
It's not always that academic results reflect the amount of hard work and sweat that they actually put in.
Then why must you condemn them like this.
Why.
Knn why.
Today we had exco meeting. Then we're talking about the size of the team.
How we might need to recruit more members
Because some of us will leave.
Then eugene looked at me straight in the eye, and told me.
"Tiu don't think can alrdy"
"If he retaining he's going private"
"If ward retain we set liao"
"Ward leave i also go le"
I know that. I know all of it.
But i don't wna hear you. I don't wna hear you at all.
"Then what about us? What about everything we've been through?"
When i saw tiu, holding back the tears was all i can do.
Feeling so terrible today.
I rly. I rly don't want them to leave.
"Then what about me? What am i supposed to do?"
"I believe that i'll miss you"
Help them. Help me.
Cause i'll be lost without you. Without you both.
Please. おねがい.
I swear i'll go vegan for a month if all of us are alright.
私はそれらを愛する
I can't bear with it any longer. I rly don't know how long more i can last.
The thought of us separating at the end of the year is killling me.
Today all three of us were at the same bus stop, and all three of us were taking different buses.
All, to different destinations.
It's so fucking painful. So damn painful.
My heart is in pieces.
Why. Why the fuck the school has to retain so many people.
They are improving, they are freaking improving.
SO TELL ME WHY THE FUCK MUST YOU GUN THEM DOWN WHEN THEY FINALLY SAW SOME LIGHT.
I don't understand. Academic results can't show anything.
It's not always that academic results reflect the amount of hard work and sweat that they actually put in.
Then why must you condemn them like this.
Why.
Knn why.
Today we had exco meeting. Then we're talking about the size of the team.
How we might need to recruit more members
Because some of us will leave.
Then eugene looked at me straight in the eye, and told me.
"Tiu don't think can alrdy"
"If he retaining he's going private"
"If ward retain we set liao"
"Ward leave i also go le"
I know that. I know all of it.
But i don't wna hear you. I don't wna hear you at all.
"Then what about us? What about everything we've been through?"
When i saw tiu, holding back the tears was all i can do.
Feeling so terrible today.
I rly. I rly don't want them to leave.
"Then what about me? What am i supposed to do?"
"I believe that i'll miss you"
Help them. Help me.
Cause i'll be lost without you. Without you both.
Please. おねがい.
I swear i'll go vegan for a month if all of us are alright.
私はそれらを愛する
Thursday, October 4, 2012
If happily ever after did exist
Just realised a painful fact that my favourite disney story didn't have a happy ending initially :(
"The Little Mermaid was written as a love letter by Hans Christian Anderson to Edvard Collin. Anderson, upon hearing of Collin’s engagement to a young woman, proclaimed his love to him. He told him ”I long for you as though you were a beautiful Calabrian girl.” Edvard Collin turned Anderson down, disgusted. Anderson then wrote The Little Mermaid to symbolize his inability to have Collin just as a mermaid cannot be with a human. He sent it to Collin in 1836 and it goes down in history as one of the most profound love letters ever written."
I swear this is the 2nd saddest shit i've ever read this year. The first was jft96, which is probably one of the biggest tragedy in the world. But this, my childhood?????
"The Little Mermaid was written as a love letter by Hans Christian Anderson to Edvard Collin. Anderson, upon hearing of Collin’s engagement to a young woman, proclaimed his love to him. He told him ”I long for you as though you were a beautiful Calabrian girl.” Edvard Collin turned Anderson down, disgusted. Anderson then wrote The Little Mermaid to symbolize his inability to have Collin just as a mermaid cannot be with a human. He sent it to Collin in 1836 and it goes down in history as one of the most profound love letters ever written."
I swear this is the 2nd saddest shit i've ever read this year. The first was jft96, which is probably one of the biggest tragedy in the world. But this, my childhood?????
GOD WHY
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Detached
Today marks the end of promos, and unlike everyone else- no i'm not happy.
I'm not happy at all.
It's really depressing to know that it's difficult to promote. For me to promote, for us to promote.
I'm going downhill, things aren't looking bright for me. It's only ABIT comforting to know that my midyears can pull up my marks a little. I still do have a chance of promoting. Tho dim, but still there.
I have to promote.
But i.
I can't.
I can't imagine myself promoting without you guys. Not at all.
As for yujie no need to worry lah, he's gna promote, definitely (•‿•) Simone too! I know you think it's tough, but with the help of yj i know you can make it! (•‿•) I'm rly rly rly happy to see that!!!
I'm not happy at all.
It's really depressing to know that it's difficult to promote. For me to promote, for us to promote.
I'm going downhill, things aren't looking bright for me. It's only ABIT comforting to know that my midyears can pull up my marks a little. I still do have a chance of promoting. Tho dim, but still there.
I have to promote.
But i.
I can't.
I can't imagine myself promoting without you guys. Not at all.
As for yujie no need to worry lah, he's gna promote, definitely (•‿•) Simone too! I know you think it's tough, but with the help of yj i know you can make it! (•‿•) I'm rly rly rly happy to see that!!!
But limsiyi. You and gabrieltiu.
I can't imagine a j2 life without you two. It's so dark i can't see shit.
I want you both to promote. I need you both to promote!!!!!!!!
You both are like the closest people to me. Rly the closest.
It's fucking heartbreaking when y'all alrdy act like y'all have 0 hope of promoting.
I keep telling you both to have hope even though i am devoid of it too. Because i need y'all to give me strength- the strength to carry on smiling despite knowing that our future together is bleak.
I need you guys.
Stop telling me how you're prepared to retain or you're gna transfer to tp or private.
We can make it. We must make it. All of us.
Please.
Make it happen.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Out Of Hand
Interj. The bollard day that turned me into a big black ball.
Willrun
Life's good these days. Sixteen and Frisbee is what kept me going and going and going and going!
I never thought jc life will be so tough. But nevertheless, i rly never regretted coming into SR ☺
Things are going unpredictable, and i don't like this feeling, not at all.
Nothing is in my control- i can't see anything!!
Not knowing what comes next rly scares me. It fills me with both dread and anticipation at the same time. I rly rly hate complicated shit lah, i'll trade this for peace any day sia.
My heart isn't constant anymore. It's actually irregular.
It races when i see some people, and goes completely dead when i see another group of people.
But i actually kind of do like the racing part ehehe siao liao no jiehui you w i l l maintain and restrain yourself.
Yes you will.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Falling deep
I have this damn bad habit of liking people that i know i shouldn't gah.
Too close alr, too close.
It's damn torturing lah wtf!!!
It's like seeing your favourite xiaolongbao going at 50c per piece when you're having 6 ulcers sia nabeh.
I rly think it's the after effect of tcyx y'know. Ok not like i didn't like anybody before him but....
He introduced this damn feeling to me- 想当年 if he didn't ask me and i didn't accept, i wouldn't have known what it feels like- The feeling of having one person to rely on without boundaries.
I know this took along while and this is D E F I N I T E L Y not the time.. But i think i'm ready.
I'm
Lol k strike that i think i was ready a long time ago.
But i rly cannot afford to lose them, i rly rly cannot.
Lol yes them wtf i'm fickle hearted like that.
Plus
They are sold. They are wanted.
我不能夺走别人的东西。
They are not meant to be mine.
If advancing means hurting people in more ways than one,
I'd rather things just stay status quo.
So.
BLOODY FREAK LAH THIS IS SOME DEEP SHIT YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO TANJIEHUI!!!
GRR
KEEP CALM AND PLAY YOUR BILLARD BALLS LAH
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Sad day
To gab:
Are you sure you wna let go?
---
Today, i really learnt, alot of things.
I learnt the cruelty of power, competition, and the fight for recognition.
I learnt the fragility of trust, bonds, and the struggle to stay strong.
I'm hurting. It's not happening to me but i am hurting.
It hurts me to see us separated that way; The bonds that had once seemed so strong are actually crumbling.
I wna find somebody to blame for this mess, and get him/her to settle this problem.
But i can't.
Because there is just no one i can blame.
I wna help them, do something about it.
But i can't.
Because i'm in no position to do so.
I want to talk to somebody, but i don't wna add on to their problems
They already have enough of their own.
But what i know is, we can't stay like this. Everyone is hurting,
I want to help. Please enlighten me.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
And so we reached the top
I cannot express the view from the top in words JSABIFALIONQCANQUIWQA
Especially when i know i climbed 40 damned storeys up
ALL
BY
MYSELF
Oh man the pride. It's one of the rare moments i actually feel proud of myself ✌
Had a talk with Gabriel after the CJ match.
The CJ match was good, but I was disappointing.
Should have led the team to play for the match, instead of selfishly thinking that my action of staying out will not affect others. I didn't have the confidence, i felt that i wasn't ready. But i forgot,
The team didn't have it too.
And i forgot it was my role to spark it up.
I can't say how bad i felt throughout the whole first half of the match darn it. Part of the reason why they stayed out was because i didn't move.
I didn't even dare to meet Mondster's Gabriel's Nicholas' or Regina's eyes.
But after that half, Gabriel came up, and gave us a good whack.
Regina too.
And after that, I'M ALL FIRED UP HAHAHA!
The match was good, a grey woman freaking dared to drive me in circles.
Damn her face is forever etched in my head now!!!!
Then at the end of the match, Mondster mentioned a few people who are commendable.
And they are really commendable.
And then he mentioned me.
Even though i know i didn't perform my best at all.
I know he knows it too.
At one point i even thought someone whacked my head then i was hallucinating lol
"Jiehui, you are just a little short of it.. Or else you'll make it"
No head, no tail.
I don't think he knows what is 'it' himself HAHAHA!
Mondster.. He's really kind like that yah? :')
Then taohuey with the girls ❤
Otw home with sofy,
GOT SCARED BY MONDSTER.
HE APPEARED SUDDENLY AT THE BUS STOP BEHIND ME
AND I FREAKING SCREAMED.
So thankful the old lady behind us never faint ah!
AIYOOOOO!!!!
Then went home, returned Gabriel's call.
Talked about authority-complexity issues.
"You're doing a very good job as a secretary alr. Have more confidence in yourself."
That's what he said. But.
I know that this is not my best.
I'll keep trying.
I'll try, till i cannot try anymore.
Mondster, Gabriel, Regina, EugeneL, my girls..
I'm really glad i came into frisbee, and met these wonderful people ❤
And what i lack, is discipline.
I WILL FIGHT
Especially when i know i climbed 40 damned storeys up
ALL
BY
MYSELF
Oh man the pride. It's one of the rare moments i actually feel proud of myself ✌
Had a talk with Gabriel after the CJ match.
The CJ match was good, but I was disappointing.
Should have led the team to play for the match, instead of selfishly thinking that my action of staying out will not affect others. I didn't have the confidence, i felt that i wasn't ready. But i forgot,
The team didn't have it too.
And i forgot it was my role to spark it up.
I can't say how bad i felt throughout the whole first half of the match darn it. Part of the reason why they stayed out was because i didn't move.
I didn't even dare to meet Mondster's Gabriel's Nicholas' or Regina's eyes.
But after that half, Gabriel came up, and gave us a good whack.
Regina too.
And after that, I'M ALL FIRED UP HAHAHA!
The match was good, a grey woman freaking dared to drive me in circles.
Damn her face is forever etched in my head now!!!!
Then at the end of the match, Mondster mentioned a few people who are commendable.
And they are really commendable.
And then he mentioned me.
Even though i know i didn't perform my best at all.
I know he knows it too.
At one point i even thought someone whacked my head then i was hallucinating lol
"Jiehui, you are just a little short of it.. Or else you'll make it"
No head, no tail.
I don't think he knows what is 'it' himself HAHAHA!
Mondster.. He's really kind like that yah? :')
Then taohuey with the girls ❤
Otw home with sofy,
GOT SCARED BY MONDSTER.
HE APPEARED SUDDENLY AT THE BUS STOP BEHIND ME
AND I FREAKING SCREAMED.
So thankful the old lady behind us never faint ah!
AIYOOOOO!!!!
Then went home, returned Gabriel's call.
Talked about authority-complexity issues.
"You're doing a very good job as a secretary alr. Have more confidence in yourself."
That's what he said. But.
I know that this is not my best.
I'll keep trying.
I'll try, till i cannot try anymore.
Mondster, Gabriel, Regina, EugeneL, my girls..
I'm really glad i came into frisbee, and met these wonderful people ❤
And what i lack, is discipline.
I WILL FIGHT
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Moving on
I cannot shake this feeling off.
I seem to be moving on with my life faster than others.
Others might still look back, and even take a few steps backwards.
But i can't. I sort of.. dread looking back.
I'm just moving on and on and on and on.
Never really stopping. Afraid to get hurt?
Ah. Seems like i didn't change at all.
MY JERSEY. MY FAVOURITE NUMBER 08 ㅠ_ㅠ
THANKYOU EUGENE NG!!!!!!!
This aside, i'm pretty troubled due to frisbee.
Gabriel was spot on omg.
HE KNOWS THAT I HAVE STRESS PROBLEMS
AND THE THING IS
I DIDN'T EVEN TELL ANYONE!!!!
Only my mum knows leh. So can you see?
HOW PRO HE IS!??!
╚(•⌂•)╝!!!!
No wonder he is our cap HAHAHA
But then again, Tan Jiehui your throwing is damn bloody atrocious when you're throwing in a group. So,
SNAP THE FUQ OUT OF IT.
I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.
You don't have a choice, cause there is no more room to let others down.
I seem to be moving on with my life faster than others.
Others might still look back, and even take a few steps backwards.
But i can't. I sort of.. dread looking back.
I'm just moving on and on and on and on.
Never really stopping. Afraid to get hurt?
Ah. Seems like i didn't change at all.
MY JERSEY. MY FAVOURITE NUMBER 08 ㅠ_ㅠ
THANKYOU EUGENE NG!!!!!!!
This aside, i'm pretty troubled due to frisbee.
Gabriel was spot on omg.
HE KNOWS THAT I HAVE STRESS PROBLEMS
AND THE THING IS
I DIDN'T EVEN TELL ANYONE!!!!
Only my mum knows leh. So can you see?
HOW PRO HE IS!??!
╚(•⌂•)╝!!!!
No wonder he is our cap HAHAHA
But then again, Tan Jiehui your throwing is damn bloody atrocious when you're throwing in a group. So,
SNAP THE FUQ OUT OF IT.
I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.
You don't have a choice, cause there is no more room to let others down.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Assurance
There's a reason why i prefer SR to cchms even though i'm only here for a couple of months.
I do miss chungcheng, the people there, with all the love.
However there's a pretty thick line between being the joker and being the joke.
Nobody likes being the joke, but for the sake of others, they tolerate.
They know they'll get hurt, but they refuse to blow up.
Why?
They love you. From top to bottom inside out they do.
They just want to see your beautiful smiles everyday, devoid of troubles, wanting to rid of as much sorrow as much sadness that y'all may feel.
They know y'all don't mean it, they know y'all are just trying to be funny, just trying to make them miss the times that they once had with y'all.
But it still hurts.
They cannot stay strong against your comments for very long y'know.
When the protective armor of the heart breaks,
When everything sinks in,
It really hurts, alot.
I think i said enough.
I do miss chungcheng, the people there, with all the love.
However there's a pretty thick line between being the joker and being the joke.
Nobody likes being the joke, but for the sake of others, they tolerate.
They know they'll get hurt, but they refuse to blow up.
Why?
They love you. From top to bottom inside out they do.
They just want to see your beautiful smiles everyday, devoid of troubles, wanting to rid of as much sorrow as much sadness that y'all may feel.
They know y'all don't mean it, they know y'all are just trying to be funny, just trying to make them miss the times that they once had with y'all.
But it still hurts.
They cannot stay strong against your comments for very long y'know.
When the protective armor of the heart breaks,
When everything sinks in,
It really hurts, alot.
I think i said enough.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Upset
I rarely flare up against my friends. People who know me long enough knows that.
But one thing i cannot tolerate is arrogant people.
Please, even a 'i'm sorry', a 'please' or a 'thankyou' works.
But this
" Wait, why am i telling you how you do your job? "
IT'S NOT MY JOB TO CHECK WHEN Y'ALL END YOUR PAPER. You don't know when you end, that's one thing. But using sarcasm as well?
太.过.分.了.
But after that you got check la. K forgiven.
"You go buy la..... The only one without econs"
Does it matter? You have your h1 i also have my h1. Must you do that?
"Lol.... Calm down"
MY FEELINGS ARE FOR YOU TO 'LOL' AT AH.
I thought you're not what i thought to be.
I thought wrong.
But one thing i cannot tolerate is arrogant people.
Please, even a 'i'm sorry', a 'please' or a 'thankyou' works.
But this
" Wait, why am i telling you how you do your job? "
IT'S NOT MY JOB TO CHECK WHEN Y'ALL END YOUR PAPER. You don't know when you end, that's one thing. But using sarcasm as well?
太.过.分.了.
But after that you got check la. K forgiven.
"You go buy la..... The only one without econs"
Does it matter? You have your h1 i also have my h1. Must you do that?
"Lol.... Calm down"
MY FEELINGS ARE FOR YOU TO 'LOL' AT AH.
I thought you're not what i thought to be.
I thought wrong.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Yes i do
Today is tuesday. And Tina's leaving today.
Why. Why people around me keep leaving me like this.
She's one of the maids i actually like. I rarely like maids.
And now she's leaving, just like ahma.
Tf is leaving too, just like zy, in 2 weeks.
为什么
But then again, if leaving is beneficial to them, makes them happier,
I do not have the right to stop them. Neither do i want to,
Even if it still hurts inside.
I still dream the dream of seeing everyone i love together with me, even if it's for just 1 minute.
That 1 minute will be the most precious 1 minute that i'll never want to let go.
July-December 2010
Once mine,
This one kid.
Made him laugh,
Made him cry.
True enough, we had much fun.
The days in the rain, the days of the waterwar,
The nikebottles, the squirts and the stars.
But till a bet, we separate.
And so marks the end
Of our little spar.
Wish you're happy.
This one kid.
Made him laugh,
Made him cry.
True enough, we had much fun.
The days in the rain, the days of the waterwar,
The nikebottles, the squirts and the stars.
But till a bet, we separate.
And so marks the end
Of our little spar.
Wish you're happy.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Monday, April 30, 2012
Do you believe in
Everything happens for a reason.
PE.
We're given the lecture cause Siyi and I can't run today and that i didn't wear school shoes. I didn't wna run initially because of my calf muscle, but i still came and tried. So what do you mean by "Do not assume you are not fit to run"? At least i tried okay, Siyi tried okay, even though she had a sprained ankle! Of course the fault's absolutely mine for not wearing proper shoes- i know you meant well so yes that's my fault alone :/ But i'm still angry at you for hardening your heart when it's pretty obvious my friend is in pain yeah >:(
Hence, reminder to self:
-It's imperative to wear sport shoes to run.
-Help yourself, never try to rely on the everchanging variable of human hearts.
After school, went with SY to collect her bball from her friend.
GODDAMN WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I ACTUALLY HELD A BALL IN MY HANDS :'(
Holding a ball once more felt so so gooooooooood!!!!!! :'')
Went home with Azra today! We had a long enjoyable talk from sr atw to mountbatten hehehe and i saw Kaline Aldon and pk's XiaoBai otw home!!! Happykid yes :)
Reached home, redid PI.
I just can't tell you how much i love my aunt seriously.
She is the B E S T aunt in the world my goodness i've got no idea how many times she actually went back to her office just to print out my PI for me!!!! She even print until her office printer went out of toner la dafuq it brought guilt and 感动 up to a whole new level can :'(
I swear i'm gna take care of her in the future so please
TANJIEHUI YOU GOTTA WORK HARD K >:)
You've got great goals, but i swear to buddha your inertia is as great too
Day 6- What band or musician is the most important to you?
These
Adieu
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Exco
I don't know what to feel.
I feel......... Weird
A mix of happiness, but also a bit of, well, shit.
I think i worry too much sometimes
I'm afraid of letting myself down,
I'm even more afraid of letting the team down.
It's okay if i fall alone, but it's not okay if i make the team fall together with me.
That's why i know i need to get stronger.
I need my confidence, i need my strength back.
I want to help the team, not burden it.
But, can i?
Which is why
HENG AH. NEVER TIO CAP/VCAP AH. HENG AH!!!!
Being a Secretary for Frisbee (Yes Secretary lol can you imagine) makes me feel likea 3MD'10 v-chairman once more.
Lika
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
S A I G A N G ಠ▃ಠ
HAHAHA sorry but that's true. Bazaar by the lake, CIP @ Bishan Home, boy are those tedious to organize, to plan, and to execute. But seeing those smiles, those faces,
Suddenly everything i've done felt very worthwhile.
And that's what i'm looking forward to, even though i know this post is guaranteed to be mentally and physically challenging (as hinted by Shernise)
5 Places i want to visit
1) Beach. Y'know, when the sunset is like
I feel......... Weird
A mix of happiness, but also a bit of, well, shit.
I think i worry too much sometimes
I'm afraid of letting myself down,
I'm even more afraid of letting the team down.
It's okay if i fall alone, but it's not okay if i make the team fall together with me.
That's why i know i need to get stronger.
I need my confidence, i need my strength back.
I want to help the team, not burden it.
But, can i?
Which is why
HENG AH. NEVER TIO CAP/VCAP AH. HENG AH!!!!
Being a Secretary for Frisbee (Yes Secretary lol can you imagine) makes me feel likea 3MD'10 v-chairman once more.
Lika
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
S A I G A N G ಠ▃ಠ
HAHAHA sorry but that's true. Bazaar by the lake, CIP @ Bishan Home, boy are those tedious to organize, to plan, and to execute. But seeing those smiles, those faces,
Suddenly everything i've done felt very worthwhile.
And that's what i'm looking forward to, even though i know this post is guaranteed to be mentally and physically challenging (as hinted by Shernise)
5 Places i want to visit
1) Beach. Y'know, when the sunset is like
WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Yah i think you get what i mean teehee
2) Everywhere around the world.
I guess that pretty much sums up everything :')
Adieu
Monday, April 23, 2012
Word rationing
Frisbee camp was.......
Cool shit.
I think we're one of the people that will actually still be at punggol park at 1.30am on a sunday morning, eat paomian until 2.30am, and play running man in school at night with the corridors all dark after having a friendly match with a super strong team!!!!
Not gna elaborate any further today cause i'd just painstakingly killed 111 words off my pi + my eyelid feels like it has 10 thousand dumbbells hung on top of it.
Which reminds me.
I HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING MY 6 FULL HOURS FOR 5 WHOLE DAYS ALREADY WHAT'S THIS >:(
Wtv angsty Jiehui shall sleep in math tutorial tmr sua.
The meaning behind my tumblr name:
Pajamaparadise = Pig for life
Day 4 completed.
Cool shit.
I think we're one of the people that will actually still be at punggol park at 1.30am on a sunday morning, eat paomian until 2.30am, and play running man in school at night with the corridors all dark after having a friendly match with a super strong team!!!!
Not gna elaborate any further today cause i'd just painstakingly killed 111 words off my pi + my eyelid feels like it has 10 thousand dumbbells hung on top of it.
Which reminds me.
I HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING MY 6 FULL HOURS FOR 5 WHOLE DAYS ALREADY WHAT'S THIS >:(
Wtv angsty Jiehui shall sleep in math tutorial tmr sua.
The meaning behind my tumblr name:
Pajamaparadise = Pig for life
Day 4 completed.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
I really shouldn't be doing this
I have pw and a whole chunk of work for this week with frisbee camp on sat and sun -_____-
Not that i'm complaining heehee i love camps and frisbee! ♡
Anyhow. Here goes.
Morning was shit. Got back my pi draft and well, it was 满江黑. It looks even worse than Siyi's which had a 'see me' there lol everything was scs scs scs scs! Also, the strategy that i actually took a whole night thinking about it's limitations strength and solutions had to "consider deletion"

wnfiqwlenciquhdhwe 我的妈妈.
Then we had physics one after another. The first one was pretty much okay i was awake for half of the lesson.. Actually the other half i was awake too just that i was too busy trying to be demure that i didn't manage to catch what she's saying e_e The second one was....... I don't know. I don't even know what's Mrs Chua is going through with that floaty ketchup experiment of hers HAHAHAHA Mrs Chua 我对不起你! Then Shaalin dropped my drink on the floor, which made the floor looked like someone has peed on it hee it was damn gross when we had to clean it up after that! But in between the lessons......... Um. 我好像都没有听课 lol i was busy folding my 黑心.
Chem lecture was illuminating. I can actually uds!!!!!! I think i'm actually getting a teeny weeny bit smarter! WOO JIEHUI WOOO!!
Math is well, math. I can uds in class and everything!! But when the pop quiz comes, yah fuck. I swear if my math test fail again this time round i'm gna put my head in the toilet bowl and flush.
Break was................ Weirdly funny thanks to limsiyi. The shiat she called clarence over when i was about to finish my physics assignment!!!!! (Um i'm supposed to avoid him like plague i owe him money that's why) Then that guy........................ I swear he can win the nobel prize for being the most 死缠烂打 guy on living earth Ծ_Ծ He actually recorded his voice on his iphone "20 dollar 20 dollar 20 dollar" and replaying it over and over again! Not enough, he actually took my phone and recorded 2 VIDEOS of him saying "20 dollar 20 dollar 20 dollar 20 dollar"
MOTHER OF GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
Ended up.. 1.5 hours of break ah. I only finished 3 questions Ծ_Ծ
好样的陈婕惠!
Then clement, the genius, raised up the friday gym thing for vert.mar.. Which reminded dylan to ask me to go, which made me say no as a demure lady who needs her beauty sleep, which resulted in dylan staring at me.....................
我的妈妈 nobody should e v e r 得罪him.
Really, for your own sake, you shouldn't.
Then PE. 2.4 was................ a disappointment. The 1st and 2nd round was okay, but the 3rd 4th 5th 6th round was kns. I had difficulty breathing again, and it was bad. It was like an encore version of the post-car accident trauma. 3rd and 4th round ain't that serious, but the 6th round was totally uncalled for. My breaths were short even though i took in as much as i could- It was as if my body was rejecting the air that i need. I started gasping in deep (loud) breaths and my heart was pumping like no need money free flow ice cream like that. If it's not for limsiyi i would have walked all the way. That woman actually ran together with me y'know, even though she had a sprained ankle omg 知道感动是什么嘛!? ㅠ_ㅠ ㅠ_ㅠ ㅠ_ㅠ Ended up, i came in with a timing of 14.03! A B! Personal best! But the feeling of getting a mere 3 sec to A was really................................. Dafuq. + the fact that i know i could have done much better if it wasn't for the hyperventilation made it a whole lot worse =__=. I got 5As leh!!!!! Kns run 3 sec faster i got straight As alr!! Now A A A A A B.
B is for Bloodeh hell.
Then Principal dialogue. It was pretty cooooooooooool hahahaha i didn't know the vp is the pretty teacher that teaches GP!!!!!!!! The way she speaks is really... Demure. Hmm. And also, I really think our class is damn cute HAHAHA! It started off with ishvar's aspiration-" I want to tour around the world to look at movie scenes". Then suddenly everyone wants to tour around the world to look at movie scenes HAHAHAHAH that's 1SR16 for you!!
Lit seminar was usual but not usual!! Before the lecture, dhyana and i sneaked into the LT earlier hehehe. Then, she started singing while i did interpretation dance HAHAHA! Then lecture was......... Ai. What to say man. I wouldn't cheat myself. I listened for 2 hours, but prolly only 2% entered my brain OTL
After which, i packed my bags for saturday. It really feels like Shanghai2010 all over again :')
I miss Shanghai with you guys our midnight taidi xiao long bao!!! :"""""")
Then now, PI.
Shit you TanJiehui why you no do yer PI first
Kns =______=
Day 3- MBA. Mission Bloody Accomplished
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Watch it go
4months. It's April already ._________.
Conjecture? Jc is nothing like secondary school.
As much as i love chungcheng, i have to say.
SR>Chungcheng
Somehow, the bond is just stronger. I feel myself here. I don't feel....... Discriminated.
I've never once regretted coming to SR.
Initially i thought i might regret coming to SR, since i'm actually quite sure of where i wanted to go- Accountancy. Now leh?
ACCOUNTANCY YOU CAN JUST GO AND EAT SHIT
(HAHAHAHAHAH)
Sorry but seriously, i'd prolly die if i actually went in there dafuq.
My POA is like this
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yah this thick. And i doubt this is the only book i need to chew.
And if i actually stayed in sp, i'll prolly not be experiencing the same fun as i'm going through for the past 4months. 1SR16 and Frisbee are one of the more happening things in my life now :>
Frankly speaking at first i was quite afraid that i wouldn't be able to fit in since i'm an appeal student, but everything went on very very well!!
我的班和老师都很可爱我喜欢! Frisbee is the ultimate! ♡
Day 2- 10 likes and dislikes
Dislikes
1) Anything to do with COCONUT
2) Kaya
3) Yam
4) People that smokes/ take drugs
5) People that disrepects/ shouts at their parents
6) Any food that got to do with the organs of a body eg: pig intestine
7) Rapists
8) People with no balls
9) Slimeballs
10) Flirts
Likes:
1) Sweets
2) Happy and helpful and kind and filial people
3) Cuddly + super uber duper cute kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiids
4) Photography
5) Anything to do with potato
6) Food
7) H to the power of 9
8)3MD'11
9)Frisbee
10)1SR16
Day 2 completed.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Challenge
Was scrolling through tumblr when i saw this


Know what this means?
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

So yes i'm gna start off by writing some basic things about myself.
I AM BASIC.
Well basic means simple right?????
So simply speaking, I'm just a normal girl who loves to eat xiaolongbao, sleep like a bloody log, love to eat fattening and hair-dropping shitz like sweets instant noodles and potato chips, injury-prone, like disney princesses, love my boys B1A4, watch mickey mouse clubhouse, hates smokers and flowery men, hates people with no respect for their parents, likes people with smiley eyes that smile all the time, have an allergy towards coconut and is half-way falling in love with Nu'est.
Day 1 completed.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
HO IT REVIVED
Decided to keep this thingy alive from 150412 1900hrs to revive my england
It's probably not gna work but i'm cheating myself anyway HAHA
WTP Welcome to Potatoz!
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